Love After 30

A rhyming story in 500 words or less.

While stumbling 'round my little town,
quite down on life and drunk on wine,
I spot a shimmer on the ground,
and bend to see my precious find.

I fall, my face plants by the bling.
My swelling eye can see its shine.
Oh my! Is that a 'gagement ring?
I wonder whose? Well, now it's mine!

I can't believe my luck's so great
to find this diamond in the street.
No, I did not anticipate
this beautiful and precious treat.

And on my birthday! Yes, today
marks 30 sun returns for me!
Alas, my life is running late
perhaps because I under'chieve.

I'll give you one or two details:
My mother's basement is my home.
I do have goals, but get derailed
by apathy and Côtes du Rhône.

But now this ring has changed my luck!
I'll sell it quick before it's claimed!
It's surely worth a thousand bucks!
I'll rise like Phoenix from the phlames!

I snatch the ring with my left hand,
but gravity still has me bound.
I lift myself but cannot stand,
and end up once more on the ground.

Supine and staring at the stars
I think, "How funny would it be,
if Death came now to punch my card,
when I'm so close to being free."

But, no! I cannot think that way!
I slide the ring inside my pants.
At last, my darkness will be day!
I must not waste this precious chance!

But first I must get to my feet,
and spinning once-twice-thrice around,
I know I must concede defeat
to my grand foe: the cold cold ground.

Just then an Angel happens by
and hovers o'er me on the road.
She takes a knee to meet my eye,
this lovely Princess to my Toad.

"McClane?" she asks. (Yes, that's my name --
my 'rents are die-hard Die Hard fans.)
"It's me, Michelle," she 'lucidates.
"Please, let me help you, if I can."

"Michelle? My god! Can it be true?"
as I again attempt to stand.
"You're back in town! It's really you!"
I'm beaming as she takes my hand.

Michelle, embarrassed, turns her head,
"I'll just be here a couple days.
My gosh, you stink! Your eye is red!"
Despite her words, it sounds like praise.

Her hand in mine, I love my life!
I love this woman, too, it seems!
I shout, "I want you as my wife!"
And hand to her my ring of dreams.

She takes a beat, then starts to smile,
then laughs, "You found it! Oh, McClane,
you had me going for a while.
I thought at first you were insane!"

"What are the odds that you would find
the ring I'd sadly lost today,
and then think to re-make it mine
in such a clever, funny way?"

She's so damn happy, I just grin.
She kisses me upon my cheek
and says, "It's been too long, my friend.
I'm glad to see you're still so sweet."

We share a moment, then it's gone.
"I should be getting home," I say.
"It's great to see you, been too long.
You've got one lucky fiancé!"

I walk away, my heart aglow,
I'm happy for her, my Michelle.
I touch my cheek, and now I know
my life is more like heav'n than hell.

While stumbling 'round my little town
with zero assets to speak of,
I'm floating 10 feet off the ground:
I'm 30 and I still have love!