i searched for years
and finally found my guide
in the mirror
NOTES
Fálki’s Mighty Networks prompt today is “deity”.
The thought of god and gods always sparks a bit of controversy in my mind. Having been raised in an Independent (not Southern!) Baptist household, there was a lot of reliance on God and “God’s will”, and, by all the godz, I didn’t (and don’t) understand it!
What kind of bottom must one hit to turn one’s self over to the guidance of an invisible entity?
Now, I don’t judge what I call “God people” harshly. They apparently felt they needed help, and they got it. Good on them. (My feeling about organized religion in general, and megachurches and their leaders in particular, is a whole other story that I won’t get into now.)
At any rate, I didn’t have a hard time breaking away from my Baptist upbringing. It never made sense to me. Fwiw, if you’re curious, I feel most aligned with what I may call an existential Buddhist philosophy.
(In writing this, I’d never thought of putting “existential” and “Buddhist” together, probably because I don’t like labels much, but that seems to fit. When I’m done here, I’m going to search the internet for “existential buddhism”.)
I attended Tennessee Temple University for my first two years of college, but I never fit in there. I knew I wouldn’t, but TTU was a safe haven, which was great for me, because my family was in Germany, when I moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee, for college as a 17-year-old.
The core of my life philosophy is that I am my own god. This is not a “god complex”. I don’t think I’m your god, or her god, or anyone else’s god. Just my own. As such, I am responsible for all my own actions, and I’m comfortable with that.